Are Lexi and Rae still together from The Ultimatum: Queer Love?

Status: Broken up. 

While they were one of the two of five couples that ended up getting engaged at the season finale of The Ultimatum, Lexi and Rae are not still together. 

When the reunion episode began, host JoAnna Garcia Swisher checked in with the fiancées to see how their relationships were going. “The last year has been amazing. Proposal, vacations, we moved back to California a few months ago,” Lexi said. “It wholeheartedly has been the best year of my life.” But during the final seconds of the reunion episode, a text card appeared saying, “Shortly after filming the reunion, Lexi and Rae chose to end their relationship. The wedding has been called off.”

Rae and Lexi went into The Ultimatum after more than three years together. The two first connected on Bumble, and after meeting IRL one fateful night out in West Hollywood, they’ve been inseparable ever since. Lexi “130 percent” wants to get married, while Rae isn’t so sure. We’ve done some sleuthing on social media and Lexi doesn’t appear on Rae’s account for over a year, while Rae is absent from Lexi’s as well.

Are Yoly and Mal still together from The Ultimatum: Queer Love? 

Status: Broken up.

Yoly and Mal decided not to continue their relationship at the season finale of The Ultimatum. While Mal says she “loves [Yoly] to death,” the exes aren’t currently on speaking terms. “Yoly feels like family to me,” Mal told Netflix’s Tudum. “You have family, you have cousins and you have distant cousins. At the moment, we’re just two cousins going through life and trying to process this all at the same time.”

Yoly and Mal were also three years into their relationship. They met during Chicago Pride and starting out as friends, their relationship blossomed. “She was a men’s stylist at Barneys at the time. I asked for her Instagram so I could continue asking for discounts at [the luxury store],” Mal joked in the series’ opening episode.

Yoly was ready for a lifetime commitment but Mal wanted their finances to be in a better spot before they begin the next stage of their lives together. “It’s not about if I want to marry [Yoly],” Mal candidly elucidated in the series. “I want to marry her, but I don’t necessarily feel like I’m in the place to provide for her like I want to provide.” 

Are Vanessa and Xander still together from The Ultimatum: Queer Love?

Status: Broken up. 

Xander and Vanessa started out as friends and were actually introduced via their boyfriends at the time. After four years together, Xander is ready to make a lifelong commitment to Vanessa, but Vanessa isn’t so sure. Viewers aren’t sure, either. “Not even 25 mins into the episode one but Vanessa sounds like she’s looking for a reason to break up with Xander. The way she’s talking sounds like she is desperately trying to find a good enough reason to get out,” tweeted one viewer. 

An overarching question of Vanessa’s motivations for joining the show began to circulate after Lexi and Vanessa went on their final date before deciding on their trial partners. Lexi accused Vanessa of going onto the show for the wrong reasons; that she’s just looking for an excuse to get out of her current relationship. 

Sure enough, they don’t end the series together. “Since I don’t have a serious partner, I’m never disappointing someone or leaving someone in the dust,” Vanessa told Netflix’s Tudum of her current relationship status. 

Xander, meanwhile, is also single and still living in Hawaii. “We didn’t talk all year and then she reached out to me two weeks before the reunion,” Xander recalled of Vanessa. “After the reunion, it was just like, poof, she was gone. It felt like her intentions again were not in the right place and not in my best interest.”

Are Aussie and Sam still together from The Ultimatum: Queer Love?

Status: Together!

Sam and Aussie are the only couple that ended up together beyond The Ultimatum reunion and as of June 6, 2023, they’re planning their wedding. 

In the season finale, Aussie and Sam were one of two couples who were engaged, along with Lexi and Rae. “The whole idea of marriage. I was so scared to choose my life partner,” Aussie said during the episode. “This experience has brought me to redefine marriage for myself.” After noting the monogamy of penguins, Aussie told Sam: “I feel like I’ve found my lifelong mate in you. I choose you,” Aussie said and Sam said yes. “Ultimatums aren’t all bad,” Sam said. “The happiest day of my life, boo,” Aussie said.

According to TODAY.com, Aussie and Sam are still planning their wedding, even though there are still some communication issues they have to work through. “We were sitting watching TV on the couch, and I was like, ‘So, you know being engaged means you get married after. And it was like, deer in the headlights. Aussie didn’t make the connection,” Sam said.

When Sam and Aussie first met, their immediate connection was like “something that you see in the movies.” They describe their initial physical connection as follows: “When we first touched hands,” Aussie said, “it was like something that you see in the movies. It was like the universe brought us together.” To this, her partner added, “Time stood still. Yeah, it was just magical. Like, butterflies and rainbows and unicorns…,” driving the former to quip, “well, actual butterflies [were there].”

Are Mildred and Tiff still together from The Ultimatum: Queer Love?

Status: Broken up. 

“I was lonely, single,” Tiff conceded when they slid into Mildred’s DMs back in 2019. “I would not say thirsty, but a little parched,” and definitely unaware she was a single mother to a special needs teen son as well as a divorcee. 

Tiff and Mildred admittedly fought a lot, had major communication issues, and split up at least once or twice a month before getting back together. Mildred hoped “this experiment helps us determine whether we want to move forward… Whether you want to [move forward].” 

Upon the reunion, Tiff actually left early. “I had four months of complete peace and healing,” they told Tudum about their journey to the reunion. “I had no ill intent toward [Mildred] and then she berates me onstage and it ripped open a huge Band-Aid for me. All the trauma I went through with her, the arguments we had and me just feeling humiliated and gaslit came right back.”

Are Xander and Yoly still together from The Ultimatum: Queer Love?

Status: Not together. 

Of all the couples that hit it off during the trial marriage, Yoly and Xander seemed to gel with each other the most. Given they’re both ultimatum givers, Xander was excited to meet someone who wasn’t afraid of commitment, and Yoly loved how her trial partner valued her decisions and communicated clearly. 

Xander later told Tudum after the reunion that their connection “wasn’t hitting the same way.” They did meet up at Coachella, as they said they would, but Xander said there was still some “unresolved” anger. “I want someone to choose me,” Xander said. “I don’t want to feel like you tried out this thing with Mal and then now you’re going to come back and try this thing with me. It wasn’t sitting well with me.”

Are Vanessa and Rae still together from The Ultimatum: Queer Love?

Status: Not together. 

When Vanessa and Rae started out their trial marriage, Vanessa had already been established as the villain of the show. Lexi, with whom Rae entered into the show, had grown suspicious of Vanessa’s motivations to join the cast, accusing her of being there “for the wrong reasons”. 

It culminated during a group dinner when the group chose their trial marriage partners and Lexi was visibly upset that Rae and Vanessa had chosen each other. That night, Vanessa and Rae slept together which sent shockwaves through the group: Lexi was not disappointed Rae had been intimate with someone else, but questioned her judgment in who it was with. 

After the show wrapped, it seems pretty clear Vanessa doesn’t speak to anyone on the show, let alone her “trial wife”, Rae. She told StyleCaster that Lexi “won’t even look me in the eyes! And once Rae moved back in with her, Rae doesn’t talk to me anymore. So it’s pretty sad. I love Rae, so that was a sad thing for me.” 

Are Mildred and Aussie still together from The Ultimatum: Queer Love?

Status: Not together.

Aussie gets anxious even thinking about marriage but while on a date with Mildred, Aussie revealed that Aussie does want to get married someday. 

Mildred and Aussie choose each other for their trial marriage but it wasn’t successful. Initially, Mildred described Aussie as “such a deep person,” Aussie responded, “I feel that I can connect with you on so many levels.” 

They get along until Mildred meets Aussie’s friends and then the relationship shifts. Mildred stated in her confessional, “Ever since I met Aussie’s friend, Mo, I notice a different person in Aussie.” During the meeting, Aussie’s mate brought up her commitment concerns with Mildred, her new partner. “The commitment is just, like, not matching,” Mildred continued.

After the reunion, Aussie told Tudum that they are not currently on speaking terms. “There’s still some healing for me to do on my end, and I’m going to get there,” they said. 

Are Lexi and Mal still together from The Ultimatum: Queer Ultimatum?

Status: Not together but besties!

Initially, Lexi and Vanessa hit it off with Lexi debating whether to choose Vanessa as her trial wife. “I don’t know if I pick Mal over Vanessa or Vanessa over Mal [as my trial wife],” Lexi said in a confessional. “I just can see so clearly that one is like cozy and easy, and the other one is… like lightning and thunderstorms… I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

But their chemistry quickly fizzled when Lexi suspects Vanessa is on the show for the “wrong reasons” and after connecting in a much more grounded way, Lexi and Mal choose to share three weeks together.

Of all the trial marriages on the show, we love Lexi and Mal’s the most; they’re definitely vibing and seem to bond almost instantly. By the end of the third episode, they’re sharing an intimate cuddle in bed on their first night of the trial marriage and it’s super cute. “It’s interesting,” Mal said at one point. “With you [Lexi], some of my rules bend a little, so I guess they weren’t rules as much as I thought they were… Like, should we leave this thing engaged?” 

They certainly don’t end up together romantically but they’ve stayed really close on a platonic level. They even FaceTime every day.  “I don’t know that if Lexi and I were to run into each other we would date,” Mal told Tudum. “But we built a lasting connection and a real, real friendship. She’s so dope. I just love her so much.” 

Are Tiff and Sam still together from The Ultimatum?

Status: Not together. 

While Tiff and Sam seem to hit it off in the beginning, things get complicated once they move in together. In a clip obtained by People, Tiff and Sam get into a heated argument over Shylo, Tiff’s beloved and “non-negotiable” dog.

“I slept on the couch with the dog last night and I feel like I’m compromising by not even putting you in a situation where you have to deal with my dog in the bed,” Tiff continued. “With Mildred, she’s always been afraid of dogs her entire life, and she was like, ‘Look, you know, I know she’s a big part of you, that’s your baby so I’m gonna figure out a way to make this work,’” Tiff explained.

In a hilarious—and any fur parent will relate—confessional, Tiff makes their perspective clear: “I don’t care if you have the most gorgeous face, the most gorgeous body, the most gorgeous personality, and the most supportive system. If you don’t like my dog, you can get the f—ck out.”

As mentioned, the original couple Sam and Aussie are back together and planning their wedding, while Tiff is single. 

How does The Ultimatum: Queer Love work?

How does The Ultimatum: Queer Love work? Per the press release from Netflix, the jist of The Ultimatum: Queer Love is as follows: “One partner is ready for marriage, the other may have doubts. An ultimatum is issued. And in just over eight weeks, each couple will either get married or get out, after they each choose new potential partners in a life-changing opportunity to get a glimpse of two different futures.”

So, the rules are that five couples go into the experience. They will break up, date other cast members and then choose the one cast member they want to participate in a trial marriage for three weeks; living and loving (maybe?) together. At the end of those three weeks, they’ll then move back in with their original partner and by the show’s end, they must—and propose to—either their original or new partner, or call it off altogether and walk away single.

Who is The Ultimatum: Queer Love host?

Who is The Ultimatum: Queer Love host? The Ultimatum: Queer Love host is JoAnna Garcia Swisher, who fans may recognize from Not Another Teen Movie. “She’s in the Netflix family, and I think she did a great job,” creator Chris Coelen told Variety of Garcia Swisher. “She really was passionate about doing it.”

She’s taking over from Nick and Vanessa Lachey who were accused of being biased towards some cast members of Love is Blind season 4, which ended in April 2023. Fans started a petition to have the couple removed from the then-upcoming season of the show and managed to get more than 40,000 signatures. That being said, Garcia Swisher signed on as the host of the upcoming show in November 2022, a long time before season 4 of Love is Blind aired.

Creator Chirs Coelhen talked to Variety about why Netflix chose a straight woman to host the show. “I think was a good idea to have a different person. I think one of the big takeaways for me about this, or any of these shows that we do, is that we’re all human beings. I don’t think that you have to be completely aligned, identity-wise with someone, to be able to empathize with them, to be able to care about them, to be able to ask them questions, to be able to relate to them.”

He continued, “For people who feel like, ‘Oh, I’m a straight person, I might not relate to the stories on this show,’ they are wildly mistaken. I would urge you to watch the show. I’m a straight person — I don’t think that has anything to do with being able to tell the story. At the end of the day, I’m dedicated to telling the story and understanding the people whose stories that we’re telling. We certainly have a tremendous amount of diversity and representation behind the camera, as well as on camera, but ultimately, all of us together in this boat are human beings, figuring out the questions in our lives, trying to tell the stories of these amazing participants. I put Joanna in that category as well.”

On if her sexuality affected the show while she was hosting, Swisher told Elite Daily that “It didn’t really come up.” She continued, “It was what it was. It didn’t feel like that was really a part of the process.”

“Obviously, there are so many special nuances and complexities to queer relationships, which I think are really important to highlight and celebrate and shine light on,” Swisher said. “It’s a huge reason why this show is so special and so important. I was just so happy to be a part of it.”

I”The job itself, as a host, was a new one for me, but it was so exciting, and I was so proud to be a part of a show that celebrates queer relationships,” she also told POPSUGAR. “It really opens up the door to look a little bit deeper into the dynamics of queer relationships, as well as the challenges.”

“At the heart of it, there’s just so much love between the people that participated in the show, and it was just really amazing to see how vulnerable they were, and how willing they were to go there and experience the task at hand,” she says. “. It was just really amazing to see them go through this process.”

Though, she admitted that she didn’t spend that much time with the contestants. “I wanted to spend more time with all the people that were a part of the show. I feel like I got to know them so intimately just watching their stories unfold, but I didn’t get to gab it up with them as much as I wanted to,” she says, noting that fortunately, “at the end I got to spend a little bit more time with them.” Ultimately, though, she saw her hosting role as a supportive position. “I was just there to help drive the experiment along and the process along, and it was really just amazing to see how it all ended up,” she said.

Where was The Ultimatum: Queer Love filmed?

Where is The Ultimatum: Queer Love filmed? The Ultimatum: Queer Love was filmed in San Diego, California. In comparison to the first iteration of the show The Ultimatum: Marry of Move On (which was filmed in Austin, Texas), a majority of the contestants were not from the area such as Xander and Vanessa who are from Hawaii, and Mal and Yoly from Chicago.

A couple of known San Diego locations were used during filming. Episodes 1 to 4 used the Coronado Island Marriott Resort & Spa and frequently featured restaurants at the Gaslamp Quarter and various beaches throughout the city.